If you’re looking to bring a classy broad home to show off to your parents, one that can cook and clean and wears pretty white aprons, then Chainsaw Sally might not be a sound choice. If, on the other hand, you simply need a random broad to off your parents, well there’s your girl; a chainsaw wielding psychopath who cuts people in half for stealing her parking spaces. Here is a character with virtually no redeeming qualities; she is a straight out whack job who murders innocent people for fun. There is no Dexter-like code here, no method to the madness and no justice is a dish served… well, not served at all I guess.
The Chainsaw Sally Show is a torture porn lover’s wet dream. Gore abounds, and if the opening credits are anything to go for, so do boobs. All this is delicately spiced with the deadpan delivery of cheesy dialogue that would make many a b-movie hang its head in shame. By these powers combined we get the complete opposite of Captain Planet, down… Continue reading
The first season of the horror TV series American Horror Story ended with a bang, and with news spreading that season 2 will have a brand new house and cast; many fans are peeved over all the unanswered questions, loose ends and unfinished plot lines that have been, excuse the pun, left for dead. Some of it might be down to missing some minute detail somewhere and yet other could remain unanswered due to plot holes. American Horror Story season 1 left us with some head scratchers to ponder. Please note that this post might contain spoilers, so if you haven’t watched the first season yet, maybe read something else.
- One issue that people bring up frequently is the question of Thaddeus, the sharp toothed monster-like inhabitant of the house. What is he exactly? What is his back story? Why didn’t we see more of him, seeing as he’s really creepy? What is his relationship to Tate? If you have answers to these questions please share them in the comments below.
- We all know that there was an abortion… Continue reading
I’m going to come out and say it. I’ll take the ensuing flame throwing like a man. Dexter season 6 was terrible. Terrible, like waking up next to a man wearing a dress with a funny taste in your mouth. Terrible, like watching Barney the Dinosaur fondle children while singing “I Love You”. Terrible, like that sweater with a pony on that aunt Hilda knitted you for Christmas that one year and has since become your official Christmas outfit. You get what I’m saying? It wasn’t good.
Dexter doesn’t fall into the straight up horror category, but it’s my site and I’m allowed to complain about it regardless. Through the years we have come to love our silly serial killer. When season 5 happened we all thought “hang on… I don’t even…” but then season 6 happened and it was like watching that guy in Austen Powers get run over by the steamroller: slow, sad, predictable and painful. I’m not sure whether the writers were on crack when they wrote this bullshit or… Continue reading
Ever have that funny feeling that you were being watched? And I’m not referring to that time you were whacking off in the bushes to the neighbors’ daughter and was afraid the cops could catch you. Maybe you were. Being watched that is… not whacking off in the bushes. Maybe your house is actually filled with the ghosts of pissed-off dead people that used to live there before you but can never leave because whoever dies in it is trapped there forever. That, in a nutshell, is what American Horror Story is all about.
American Horror Story doesn’t really offer much in the way of originality: family moves into dream house, family discovers that house has a dodgy past, strange things start to happen. Here’s the thing though, it doesn’t have to. From the unsettling opening credits, featuring old photographs of babies, to the Jerry Springer like balls to the wall strangeness of down syndrome girls that break into your house, dead gay lovers arguing over babies and emo kids going postal at their high school, this show has plenty… Continue reading
It was bound to happen, and not bound in the good dungeon torture way either; Walking Dead, once populated by fun loving zombies and menacing city streets, has turned into a whiny soap opera: Grey’s Anatomy with decomposing heads.
In stark contrast to the first – action packed and well written – season that more or less followed the comic books, the second season of Walking Dead features some farmland, some hysterical abortion talk (come on, how cool would it have been to have an un-dead baby crawling all up in their shit) and some silly girl getting her ass handed to her.
As it turns out this silly girl plays a not-entirely-insignificant role in the comic book. Not being a purist I don’t care so much, but what happened to all the zombies? Suddenly, we have people practising shooting all over the place, and the Walkers seem blissfully ignorant of them. Here I was thinking they loved noise, dancing the night away wielding glow-sticks and then squinting and grunting out into the daylight due to dehydration and a fucker of a hangover.